Goal Setting – a proven system

Goal Setting – a proven system

I’m often asked how I go about setting goals.

So, I decided to share my goal setting system. You may not be a goal-setter.  On the other hand, you could be goal guru.  Wherever you find yourself, I hope you find value here.

First, I have not always been a goal-setter. I was aimless for many years until someone (Dave Ramsey) taught me how to set goals. More importantly, I was taught ‘why’ I needed to set goals.

Second, I am not claiming that my process is the only way to set goals. Nor is it completely original. I am drawing from great leaders from whom I’ve learned over the years.

Thirdly, I’m not going to get into the ‘why’ of goal setting here. This article is for the individual who knows ‘why’ goal setting is important but needs a fresh look or wants to go a little deeper. I ask the men I mentor and leaders I work with to set goals using this method (or a variation). If we are setting goals using similar methods – we are speaking the same language.

FYI – I set my annual personal goals in March (as not to get mired by the ‘New Years Resolutions’ of others.)

I. Goal Setting Basics

Your goals must:

  • Be SPECIFIC
  • Be MEASURABLE (achievable)
  • Be YOUR OWN (don’t let someone else set your personal goals)
  • Have a TIME LIMIT
  • Be in WRITING (keep where you can see them every day)

Example: “I want to complete the XYZ half-marathon (13.1 miles) on October 1, 2018.”

 

II. Undergird your goals (the ‘whats’)

For each goal ask the following questions (write down the answers)

1. What are the benefits of reaching this goal?
2. What are the obstacles?
3. What help is needed?
4. What is my plan of action?
5. What is my time-budget?

Using the example: “I want to complete the XYZ half-marathon (13.1 miles) on October 1, 2018.”

1. Benefits: I will be healthier, stronger and gain a sense of accomplishment
2. Obstacles: Procrastination and busy schedule (work and family)
3. Help needed: Accountability and encouragement – perhaps a training coach or partner
4. Plan of Action: Training plan – weekly running and conditioning schedule, diet changes, journal results
5. Time Budget: Weekly time set aside for training leading up to the half-marathon

III. Balance your personal goals

I recommend setting goals in 7 areas of life (Zig Ziglar’s ‘wheel’). This will keep you from becoming lopsided. Unbalanced goals will cause problems in other areas of life. Think of driving a car with a flat tire.

Set goals in these seven areas:

1. Personal (relational)
2. Spiritual
3. Family
4. Financial
5. Career
6. Intellectual
7. Physical

IV. Share your Goals

My biggest obstacle in reaching my goals is me. I must admit I need help (and I consider myself a self-starter). However, life gets busy and I know I’m a magician at creating busyness that pushes goals aside. Its a form of procrastination. Therefore, I share my goals with folks who will hold me accountable. I give them permission to press into me and ask me how I’m doing. They are my cheerleaders as well.  I need someone to speak into my life and tell me to get moving or be there if I need help. (Great book on this is ‘Power of the Other’ by Dr. Henry Cloud)

I can’t say it enough, share your goals!

V. Going deeper with goals

Personal Mission Statement: If you want to live a life that matters and makes a difference in the world, create a personal mission statement. It is your ‘why’. It tells the world who you are and what you are about. Here is my mission statement.

Prayer: As a Christ-follower, I am intentional about prayer. I need wisdom, vision and strength to set and achieve goals. In addition, I want my goals to be in line with God’s will and purpose for my life. Pray in each of the seven areas of your life and ask God to provide direction.

Bible Verses: It is vital to me to have a bible verse as the foundation of my goals. I usually have one for the entire year. This verse undergirds all of my goals and acts as a theme for the year. When times get tough, I can fall back on God’s Word for strength. This reminds me whose ultimately in charge.

Reflection and Reporting: At the end of the year, I reflect and report on my goals. I share this with the team and invite feedback.

VI. When you FAIL – and you will FAIL

Every week I try to experience three things:

1. Accomplish something difficult
2. Learn something new
3. FAIL at something

Failure is a good thing. I do not hit all of my goals every year. If I did, my goals are not challenging enough. We need failure. We learn more from failure than success. When I look back over goals I’ve failed to achieve, I learn where I failed and why. I learn and also see PROGRESS! We may have failed to reach our goals but we make progress.

 

Encouragement for you

In conclusion, below are some quotes I keep in mind when it comes to goals:

“If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” – Zig Ziglar

On being SPECIFIC: “Aim small, miss small” – Chris Kyle (US Navy SEAL Sniper)

Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint (or perish)…” – Proverbs 29:18

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope this is helpful.

Now, get after it!


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Three strikes and you’re NOT out – comeback from failure

Three strikes and you’re NOT out – comeback from failure

In his book on leadership Lieutenant General Hal Moore said,

In the game of baseball, three strikes and you’re out. Not so in the game of life. Three strikes and you’re NOT out.”

I can tell you from personal experience that “failure” properly understood is a set up for a comeback.  When we fail, we tend to give up.  But, is “giving up” the right thing to do when we strike out?

You only strike out when you decide to give up on yourself.

15 years ago, I gave up on myself. I was at the end of my rope after living a selfish and self-destructive life. I had decided that I had struck out, my life was over. Years prior to meeting my wife, I had been a willing participant in the abortion of my own child. I was a liar, used people and I turned to drugs and alcohol to sandbag the shame and pain. I was one step away from quitting. I believed the only way out of my despicable life – was death.

I believed that everyone had given up on me, I was living a lie, I had nothing good to offer and I had given up on myself. It was over – I could hear the umpire shouting, “Strike three, you’re out!”

Early one morning in 2003, I had descended into the darkest moment in my life. I saw death as the only way out.  However, in a blink of an eye, I was reminded that someone very important had not given up on me.

God – He hadn’t given up on me. In fact, he loved me and could transform the destruction and chaos of my life for good. In the midst of darkness there was a point of pure light – that light was hope. And like a lifeline from heaven, I held fast to that tiny glimmer of hope and God pulled me out of the dark tempest and set my feet on solid ground.

God reminded me that I was far from being out of the game. He gave me more hope. I could be forgiven. I could be used by God. A murderer could be transformed into a missionary.

“Three strikes and you are NOT out!”

15 years later, I have learned to boldly step up to the plate and swing for the fences because I am a redeemed and restored child of God. He loves me and wants me in the game. Why else would he send his only son to die for a wretch like me?

John 21 is my favorite chapter in the entire Bible. Previously, Peter had denied Christ three times before his crucifixion. Peter believed he had struck out as a failure. This wasn’t true. The risen Christ called Peter to himself and restored him and affirmed him. He put him on mission. “Three strikes and you’re NOT out Peter … Follow me.” And Peter did and we can too.  Peter’s failure was a set up for a historical comeback!

What does this mean?

It means It’s not too late. Jesus Christ invites us into a personal relationship with him that has NOTHING to do with our past, present or future performance. In the final analysis, It has everything to do with accepting his grace gift, trusting him and following him. When you blow it in life, remember three strikes and you’re NOT out.

  • How do you feel about people who have failed, including yourself?
  • How do you think God feels about people who fail?  The Bible is full of human heroes who failed.
  • Do you desire to get up to bat and take a few swings?

In closing, I want you to take some swings and so does God. He is the God of second, third and forth chances.

Forget what the world and culture say about failure. God will not be mocked. Ask Jesus into your life. Trust what he did for you on the cross. Believe that he can transform and renew you. He will enable you to swing for the fences in his game for his glory.

God has a plan and a purpose for your life no matter how you have failed. Get off the bench and get into the batter’s box and take a swing for God’s sake!

Want to watch a message by one of our team on this subject?

Link: “It’s not too late” – Dr. Cody McQueen


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A message for men that you don’t want to hear

A message for men that you don’t want to hear

Note: I’ll be the first to admit my own responsibility for being a part of the problem in the past. I’m lovingly, yet sternly challenging you to read and consider what I am saying. After thoughtful consideration (perhaps 24-48 hours), if you disagree – that is fine. Articulate your disagreement if you like.  Emoting is a sign of immaturity and my response will call out immaturity.  If that causes a bit of anger to well up in your little heart, so be it.  You need to learn to deal with anger and this conversation is not for you – yet.

Boys are crying out for help!

Over the last 50 years, our moral revolution has attacked the sanctity of human life, destroyed the family and diminished the father’s role in society. So, males are nothing more than animals that have sex at will with whomever they want, pursue immediate gratification and comfort, relish violence and affluence and move on like a swam of locusts.

Today boys, as young as 8 years old are immersed in pornography, addicted to violent games/movies and have ZERO respect for human life. As a result, girls (and  boys) are objects for their personal gratification, other children are targets for destruction and parents exist to feed and pamper them.

Our boys need to be rescued from this toxic culture and men who have abandoned their responsibilities need to repent and be restored.  We need to admit we need to help each other.

No matter how you slice it – Males hold all the cards.

We are paying the price for the “moral revolution”. This revolution is rooted in nothing more than personal immediate gratification (of males – primarily).  It says,

“I want what I want and I want it NOW… And I will use the veil of reproductive rights, feminism, sexual freedom, personal autonomy, marriage, coercion and political volition to achieve my personal gratification – be it comfort, affluence, power or orgasm.”

Our children are paying dearly with their lives. Make no mistake – the cost is high for “if it FEELS good, do it” culture. It is no accident that we have arrived at this very moment.

“A poor sailor blames the wind.”
It is also no accident that adult males are molesting and demeaning women, abusing children, stealing, doing drugs, lying under oath, murdering and going to jail at high rates.  We raise our boys according to the rules of the moral revolution and when our boys become adults infused with the ‘values’ of the revolution and act out of those impulses – the moral revolutionaries make an ‘out-cry’ and blame everyone except themselves.  A worldview that blames systems, things and institutions for society’s problems is rejecting any personal accountability.  They will deny this but there will always be a ‘but’ to avoid personal responsibility.

 

How about raising boys who know what it means to be authentic men?

A man does not give into passivity, he takes responsibility for his own actions, he practices personal accountability and integrity, he is humble, just, kind, self-disciplined, leads courageously and focuses on a cause greater than himself. A man is the voice for the voiceless, a protector of the weak and a provider.

Stop the cycle of blame. In order to raise men of honor and integrity, we must look ourselves in the mirror and ask how we are going to help raise boys into authentic men. It is an issue of our hearts. Boys are crying out for help. Let’s help them by modeling manhood for them – teaching and challenging them to become the courageous men they are created to be.

Ignore the screaming of the moral revolutionaries – they will never stop screaming. That is what they do – they rage against everything. They will not stop raging until they destroy everything – including themselves.  I’m not sorry for pushing back against the disjointed and dangerous worldview driving the ‘moral revolution’.  As a matter of fact, I’m going to challenge it with extreme moral force.

Dave Ramsey once said,

“We all have a red-faced screaming child inside us.  That child’s name is ‘Immaturity’.”

It’s not too late.

Our future depends on our personal accountability today.  

  • How am ‘I’ going to raise my son to be man?
  • How can ‘I’ support the fatherless who have no role model?

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A post you are too lazy to read on DISCIPLINE

A post you are too lazy to read on DISCIPLINE

I don’t expect anyone to read this. Therefore, I’m writing this to myself because I need to hear it. It is a hard truth.

If I have discipline about what I eat and how much I exercise I feel good, think clearly and I have the freedom to participate in a variety of activities in life. So, if I lack discipline in what I eat and how much I exercise I feel bad, I lack energy and I eventually fall into the tyranny of health problems. I no longer have the freedom to participate in the robust activities of life. Laziness put limits on freedom. This is self-inflicted tyranny.

A Word on Discipline:
The word ‘discipline’ carries a negative connotation in modern western culture today. It evokes constraint and goes against our perception of personal autonomy. Therefore, we have come to believe that discipline is somehow the enemy of our freedoms and rights to live however we want.

What a load of tripe!

Don’t confuse punishment or the enforcement of obedience with practicing self-control and training in moral character.

Modern America is a nation marked by self-centeredness, immaturity, blame, victimhood, permissiveness and sanctioned negligence. Make no mistake, this is what we have become and it’s a problem. If we do not solve it, our culture will crumble and something worse will replace it.

Today, when something negative happens, we collectively point fingers.  We blame each other instead of taking ownership and personal responsibility.

BTW, Social Media and #Hashtags exacerbate the problem because we are foolish and lazy enough to believe that just because we vented our blame and victimhood online, we have actually done something to solve the problem.

[Again] What a load of tripe! Nothing but lazy, lazy, lazy.

In his book, “Reveries on the Art of War”, Maurice de Saxe said;

“As soon as discipline is neglected in a nation … as soon as comfort becomes an aim, it needs no inspiration to foretell that ruin is near.”

De Saxe wrote this in the 1700s. It has been true throughout history.

A Lesson from History
The ancient Roman Empire didn’t fall as a result of being beaten by a powerful army. It ‘fell’ because the Roman citizens as a whole became lazy and comfort-driven on an individual level. Their morals and unity crumbled because they lacked personal discipline. Consequently, they did not have the moral fortitude to push back or mount a volitional response to the degradation happening around them. As a result, the mighty Roman Empire’s hubris, laziness and lack of discipline stands as history lesson of why the mighty fall.

Discipline begins with ‘Me’:

Discipline is a good thing. Without it, individuals, families, communities and societies crumble.

Discipline starts with ‘me’. I cannot expect my family, friends and fellow Americans to practice discipline without me.

Discipline is all about self-control, training in moral character and behavior.

Discipline brings freedom and good things into our lives. Freedom without discipline is anarchy and chaos – which will lead to tyranny.

The question is: What can I do today to practice discipline and personal responsibility?

“He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.”

(Proverbs 5:23)


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Two Characteristics of Good Leadership

Two Characteristics of Good Leadership

There are two kinds of leaders, good leaders and bad leaders.

Leadership is simply influence. Influence can be used for good or ill.

Hitler was a leader who used his influence for selfish evil purposes.

Mother Teresa was a leader who used her influence for selfless good purposes.

Take a moment and consider leaders throughout history both good and bad. What’s the difference between a Hitler and a Mother Teresa?

It boils down to two things that undergird how a leader wields their influence.

Humility and Virtue

Good leadership is rooted in thinking of others more than yourself (Humility). At the same time, good leadership has a moral compass or standard as a foundation (Virtue). There are other dimensions and aspects of leadership but humility and virtue are at the core of good leadership.

Everyone is a leader within their context. Everyone has influence. However, not every leader embodies humility and virtue.

Be a good leader.


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Local Outreach: Philosophy of Ministry Part 1

Local Outreach: Philosophy of Ministry Part 1

Today, I am going to share the philosophy of ministry I have the privilege of leading.

Preface: This post begins a series intended to help other church leaders understand the way we do ministry within Local Outreach at Christ Chapel Bible Church. This is not the ‘only way’ but ‘one way’ to approach ministry. I’m not stating that there is one right way to do ministry. Context is important.  You will adapt ministry to serve in your context. We’ll get into some of the theology and why I believe every church should have a robust community outreach in later posts.  I have tried many things an failed and I’ve made plenty of mistakes.  My hope is that you will see this as a starting point on a journey.

There must be a philosophy of ministry undergirding mission; in this case, community outreach.

 

A bit of background:

I’ve been on staff at Christ Chapel Bible Church in Fort Worth, Texas for three and a half years. Perviously, I was doing my own thing in the wealth management and insurance industries until I received a call from the executive pastor at my church. He was convinced that I was the next Local Outreach Pastor. After three months of wrestling, one early morning God made it crystal clear, he had called into full-time ministry. That said, I continue to have a deep appreciation for business done well and the entrepreneurial spirit. I love visiting with business owners and entrepreneurs. I believe that ministry could use more business acumen and business could use more ministry acumen.

The Local Outreach Ministry (I also refer to it as ‘Local Missions’) at Christ Chapel existed for decades before I took the helm in 2014. The ministry has grown and evolved as the church has grown from a couple dozen folks to nearly 7,000 attendees, two campuses and over 1500 folks streaming every Sunday.  A solid foundation had been laid by others prior to my arrival.  I am so thankful for their work.  It is a privilege to build upon it.  I pray that I pass the baton well.

We refer to Christ Chapel as a ‘church without walls’. This means we believe we must move out of the confines of church buildings and into the surrounding community to serve and share the love of Jesus Christ.

We believe that church staff exists ‘to equip the the saints for the work of the ministry…’ (Ephesian 4:12a). My role as Local Outreach Pastor is NOT to do everything myself. My role is to equip our people and give away the ministry. Then, I get behind lay-leaders (volunteers) and support them in their work.

One person is limited to he or she can accomplish in a day alone.

But, many ministry leaders work as if everything depends on them.  This form of ministry is exhausting and prideful. Little wonder pastors suffer from burnout and leave ministry. It’s unbiblical for one man or woman to do ALL the work. At the moment Jesus called his first disciple to ‘follow me’, he began giving away the ministry. Jesus provided the New Testament model and philosophy of ministry. We are called to give it away.

I was taught at an early age to surround myself with people who are smarter and have more talent than I have. You don’t have to know everything to lead. It’s a good thing if someone else has more passion for the poor or serving children or single moms than you do. It’s a good thing if someone knows more about homelessness or prison ministry than you do! God has placed those desires in their hearts and they have gifts you don’t have.

It is the pastor’s responsibility to celebrate that passion and talent and then provide opportunities for those people to express it.

In Genesis 2:19, God delegated responsibility and limited authority to man in naming things in the created world. God has been about giving it away since the beginning.

As pastors and leaders, we are not God. So, we can’t do everything ourselves. God has always modeled giving away (or delegating) responsibility and authority. So should we.


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